Kick-Ass [R]: In the classic '60s comic book story, "Superman Red/Superman Blue," all criminal activity is contained after Superman is split into two separate entities, plus now that he's able to be in two places at once, natural disasters are minimized, leaving him without a whole hell of a lot to do.

It's one of my favorite stories because it confirms that Superman is not like us. In later years, the effort to humanize the character would limit his heroic nature rather than make him more identifiable.

In comics, the average Joe is unable to do much of anything for himself. In Marvel Comics, people are inconsequential except for delivering the mail or falling in love; it's the superheroes that lead exciting lives. But Marvel goes out of its way to make its heroes far too human.

Over at DC Comics, the office boy needs a signal watch to summon assistance, the police commissioner relies on a Bat-signal and the Justice League monitors the planet with surveillance satellites. So much for privacy, much less self-reliance.

In the movie Kick-Ass, no one is doused with chemicals, nor are they aliens from another planet or have access to a power battery. And although the title character (played by Aaron Johnson) is refitted with steel-plated reinforcements after a brutal beating in his first outing in a wetsuit, the closest he comes to his comic book counterparts is his level of angst due to sexual rejection.

But like some bent, twisted "What If" story that years earlier would've appeared in Marvel's Not Brand Echh as a spoof of CD's roster of unassuming schmuck books like Dial H for Hero, the Kick-Ass comic mocks its rivals. Written by Mark Millar and illustrated by John Romita Jr., the book is a devastating critique of numerous offenses committed by comic fans focused on the "super" rather than the "heroic."

It's one thing for Spider-Man to take that step back, allowing the guy suspected of Uncle Ben's death to fall to his own death - after all, he chose this path. It's quite another thing for him to reach for a screwdriver and start stabbing the Vulture in the gullet.

Wolverine isn't all that concerned with Miranda rights.

Let a cop coerce a confession out of a suspect and these very same comic book fans call for the cop to be kicked off the force, though they cheer whenever Batman intimidates the suspect to get information.

Kick-Ass seeks to answer the question: What if superheroes actually existed? But the question it avoids is: What makes someone a superhero?

Let's take the first encounter, after Kick-Ass is released from the hospital when he falls on top of a man being chased. For all he knows the guy could've just robbed a bank, or raped a seven-year-old, yet without a shred of evidence, his justification for aiding the guy is that "three against one isn't fair odds!" So he allows the situation to determine his direction of force, and instead of moral choice it becomes a numbers game!

If it was World War II and four Nazis were pinned down by a U.S. battalion, I suppose using Kick-Ass illogic, he would jump in to side with Der Fuhrer's boys?

No determination can be made if moral reasoning is evaded. Using situation ethics to justify snap-judgment calls isn't heroic. And forget about the "super" aspect, because the very premise of Kick-Ass is that none of the characters possess any ability or supplemental skill other than foolhardy appeal to the masses. So here, a hero ain't nothin' but a sandwich.

Artist Steve Ditko has always said that he left the field of comics because the companies were no longer interested in heroes. Neither, it would seem, are the movies, with the steady stream of anti-heroes raking in box office bucks.

There are exceptions, few though they may be.

On TV, Dr. Who is heroic because he turned down becoming an impersonal god and stole the TARDIS to throw in with the lesser beings. He made a moral judgment. Frank Castle, The Punisher, is interested in the plight of the innocent enough to eliminate the criminal. Without moral judgment, how can good and evil be distinguished in the first place? Instead of being driven by situationalism, a hero acknowledges that absolutes exist. It's black & white without blinking.

Lots of bad guys die in Kick-Ass, but did these would-be heroes blink?

Ahhh...that's the question!