The Twilight Saga: Eclipse [PG-13]: It's one thing for a vampire to wish he weren't so, like Barnabus Collins in Dark Shadows. And then there was Angel (or Angelicus) who'd been cursed with a soul. But what we have here is Edward (Robert Pattinson), a vampire with the moral restraint to practice celibacy???? Oh, I almost forgot – these stories are aimed at eight-year-old girls who believe sexuality depends on a fancy haircut, which explains why Bella (Kristen Stewart) happens to be the only woman in human history to successfully juggle two boyfriends! Ugh! This series just gets worse and worse! Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) leads an army of newborns to find Bella (not infants, but recruits), so Edward lets Jake (Taylor Lautner) rub his scent on her to distract the multitudes. Never fear: there's lots of running back and forth, the usual frowns and sour expressions, the occasional nail-biting moments and all the self-indulgence you've come to expect.